


you carry it with you

by Anonymous



Category: Hermitcraft RPF
Genre: Attempted Abortion, Bed-Wetting, Crying, Early Labor, Eye Trauma, Fat Shaming, Flashbacks, Gen, Graffiti, Medical Procedures, Nightmares, Nonsexual Nudity, Panic Attacks, Platonic Cuddling, Pregnancy, Premature Birth, Self-Worth Issues, Swearing, Unplanned Pregnancy, Yelling, based on a vivid nightmare i keep having don't come after me for this, binding, blunt description of pregnancy symptoms, evil x doesnt have a character tag lol nerd, graphic depictions of labor and birth, nervous breakdown, there is so much swearing and i nearly forgot to tag it oops, things going inside an empty eye socket, various mentioned hermits, written on mobile so. formatting might be odd.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-31
Updated: 2020-05-31
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:00:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24465358
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: evil x has been banned since season six. what happened during that time? what happens after his return?it's the evil x pregnancy fic nobody asked for. this isn't the worst fic in this fandom and you know it.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 63
Collections: Anonymous





	you carry it with you

**Author's Note:**

> this is based off a very vivid nightmare i keep having and obsessing over. everything written is something that i've dreamt about. i'm not taking constructive criticism, nor am i taking destructive criticism. this was written as vent and i'm posting it because why the hell not, there's many more explicit fics in this fandom. y'all can deal with my nightmare pregnancy fic.  
> if you recognize my writing style please do not mention it. i've disconnected my name from this fic for a reason. and if you figure out my ao3 account don't mention that either.  
> thanks.

He doesn't like to think about it. About the world he went to while he was banned. Xisuma unbanned him and he returned sans an eye and crying. Others want him to spill, but that would involve thinking about it. And he doesn't like thinking about it.

A few fresh scars marr his skin. A few new nightmares keep him awake. Nobody knows he doesn't sleep. Not yet, anyways. That's okay. The moon and the stars are pretty to look at. He likes to watch the sunrise.

The phantoms don't bug him as long as he stays in the little glass room he built. Nobody knows where his house is. He likes it that way. The hermits scare him sometimes. They're a touchy-feely bunch, but all that reminds him of is what happened. And he doesn't like to think about that.

His armor has a crack in it, now. Right over his heart. It looks the way he feels. That crack is less concerning than the cracks in his helmet. It doesn't fasten properly anymore. Sometimes breathing gets hard. But he can deal with it. After all, he's lived through worse. And he only needs it when he has to leave his house.

He'll just tend his little farm, live in his ugly house, and try to forget.

Xisuma finds him, as always. The disappointed gaze from behind his brother's visor hits him in a way it never has before.

"You found your way back," Xisuma says.

"I always do," Evil X says.

"Usually you've made a nuisance of yourself by now," Xisuma says.

"Didn't feel like it this time," Evil X says.

"You and I both know that's a lie," Xisuma says. "What's happened?"

Evil X huffs. Had Xisuma really not noticed his entire left eye missing? He pulls his hair out of the way, stares at Xisuma with his one eye. Xisuma gasps, takes a step back. Evil X chuckles. He knows the socket is still disgusting, crusted with blood and pus. He hasn't cleaned it. He doesn't want to.

"Oh my word," Xisuma breathes. Evil X's laugh turns into a cough, particles in the air burning his trachea and lungs. Xisuma is supporting him in an instant, holding him up so he doesn't fall.

The coughing fit subsides as Xisuma leads him into his house. His breaths are wheezy, but he's getting air now. Xisuma has sat him on the couch and has a first aid kit in hand.

"No," Evil X wheezes.

"It's horribly infected. I'm not fond of you, but I'm not going to leave you to die here," Xisuma says. "I'll be quick, it won't hurt at all."

"Don't care," Evil X says.

"I'll fix your helmet if you let me," Xisuma says.

"Bastard," Evil X hisses.

"Thank you," Xisuma says. He arms himself with a cotton ball and tweezers.

Xisuma gently scrubs the dried blood and pus off of Evil X's face. The pile of nasty cotton balls grows the longer Xisuma works. His face feels lighter as the crust of blood comes off. He flinches when Xisuma pokes the cotton ball into his socket.

"I'm not gonna poke your eye out," Xisuma jokes.

"Ha, ha, so funny," Evil X says sarcastically.

Xisuma pokes something that really hurts. He frowns, and Evil X sees his helmet's night mode activate. Xisuma pokes it again, harder, and Evil X feels something pop.

"What the _fuck_ ," Evil X breathes.

"There was an abscess. Now there's not an abscess," Xisuma says. Evil X feels him swipe the pus out of the socket.

"Warn me next time," Evil X snaps.

Xisuma keeps cleaning his eye socket wordlessly. Evil X lets him.

Xisuma is gentle in bandaging the empty socket. The tape doesn't pull uncomfortably. His hair doesn't catch in the adhesive.

"Hey," Xisuma says, catching his attention. Evil X looks at him.

Xisuma surprises him by pulling him into a hug. "I'm sorry."

"You didn't do anything," Evil X says.

"If I hadn't banned you, you'd still have your eye. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have banned you," Xisuma says.

"Whatever," Evil X says.

"Where's your helmet? I promised you repairs," Xisuma says.

"On the table. How did you know it was broken?" Evil X asks.

"The server log tells me everyone's vitals. Yours have been off," Xisuma says. "I figured they'd return to normal, but they didn't."

"Oh," Evil X says. Xisuma had known where he was, and had left him to his own devices. Xisuma trusts him enough to let him be.

They don't talk while Xisuma repairs Evil X's helmet. Evil X focuses on calming the wheeze of his breath while he listens to the gentle crank and whirr of Xisuma's tools.

Eventually, Evil X can't hold his tongue and he starts poking fun at Xisuma. Xisuma banters back. The banter turns into Evil X staying at Xisuma's base while his wound heals. Though Evil X dislikes the idea of living with his brother, the possibilities for annoying Xisuma are endless, so he agrees.

The first night isn't as bad as he thought it would be. Xisuma makes him eat some vegetables, but lets him cheat at cards for an hour straight. He doesn't get away with stealing from the bank at Monopoly, though.

"You're stealing," Xisuma says.

"No I'm not," Evil X says, still holding the paper money he'd nicked from the bank.

"Yes you are, I can see you doing it," Xisuma says.

"I'm not stealing," Evil X says. He punches Xisuma playfully. Xisuma socks him back. Evil X pushes Xisuma, and Xisuma pushes him back. The next shove isn't as gentle, and Xisuma's retaliation knocks Evil X over. He drags Xisuma down with him.

Xisuma ends up seated on top of Evil X. It's not malicious, but Evil X feels his breathing quicken, his pulse skyrocket. Panic weaves its choking tendrils through his ribs and around his throat.

"Get off, get off, _get off get off get off-_ "

"I'm off, I'm off," Xisuma says, removing himself from Evil X's chest as fast as he can. Evil X scrambles back, trying to calm his breathing.

"Are you okay?" Xisuma asks.

"I'm fine," Evil X snaps.

"You're sure? That didn't look fine," Xisuma says.

"I'm fine, fuck off," Evil X growls. "Leave me alone."

Xisuma sighs, but obliges. Evil X retreats to his room for the rest of the night.

Evil X returns to his home after two weeks. The nightmares subsided some while he was with Xisuma, and he figures it's time he built himself a bedroom.

Evil X spends the next few weeks adding to his base. Grass looks nice in the circular room he digs underground. Little piston doors separate sections of his base. He tames a few wolves. He makes himself a few new eyepatches.

As weeks pass, he starts to feel nauseous and bloated. At first he ignores it, but the longer he ignores it the more it impedes his building. A self-scan with his helmet can't hurt.

Except, of course, when it can.

The scan says he's eight weeks pregnant. So does the next scan, and the scan after that. It finally sinks in when the fourth scan has the same results.

He panics. He can't be pregnant, he can't be, that would mean...

Evil X shakes his head. There's a solution to this. There has to be. He can get rid of the pregnancy on his own and nobody will know anything is wrong. All he needs is a coat hanger.

He finds one. He bends it out of shape. His fingers shake as he undresses, he trembles as he sits on the towel and leans against the wall. Evil X bites his lip to keep from crying out and mutes the speaker on his helmet just to be sure.

The coat hanger is cold. He presses it deeper, deeper, past the anatomy he knows he has until it reaches a stop. It hurts already. He can't stop now. Evil X pushes on the coat hanger until he can't handle the pain.

It comes out with a rush of blood. If this worked, a scan should show it by tomorrow. And it's not like he's going to go anywhere when he's bleeding like this. Evil X lays the spare towel over his lap and lets exhaustion pull him to sleep.

He scans himself as soon as he's awake enough to. The scan tells him he's eight weeks pregnant. His heart drops.

All that pain and it didn't even work.

There's a second option. Evil X dresses quickly, he's no longer bleeding, the scan tells him, and rushes to the shopping district as fast as his churning stomach will let him. Stress has a potions shop. It wouldn't be his first theft. It likely won't be his last.

Monster's Brew is easy to find. He digs through the chests, pulling out a poison potion, a weakness potion, and a harming potion.

He quite literally bumps into Impulse on his way out.

"Oh, hello, Evil X," Impulse says.

"Hi," Evil X says, stepping around Impulse.

"You stole those, didn't you," Impulse says, frowning at the potions in Evil X's arms.

"Yeah, what are you gonna do about it," Evil X says.

"Tell Xisuma," Impulse says, putting his hands on his hips. Xisuma finding out he stole again wouldn't be good but he doesn't have diamonds and he needs these.

Evil X solves this problem by chugging the potions in quick succession, much to the shock of Impulse. The pain brings him to his knees as he retches, feeling the effects kick in immediately.

Impulse is at his side a second later, rubbing his back as he gags.

"You could've just told me not to, or put them back, oh my gosh," Impulse says. Evil X takes a moment to catch his breath.

"How would I know you wouldn't tell?" he asks. Impulse is silent for a second.

"I thought friends could trust each other," Impulse says. "Are you gonna throw up, or are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Evil X says. The poison is wearing off. With luck, this'll have worked. He doesn't know what he'll do if it doesn't.

"Do you want me to walk you to wherever you're staying?" Impulse offers.

"No. I can get there myself," Evil X says. He lets Impulse help him stand and staggers off to the portal. He can sleep this off at home.

The next morning, he scans himself again. The same result pops up. Eight weeks pregnant. Evil X throws a fit, crying and screaming and throwing things. He's happy nobody lives within earshot of him.

The fit exhausts him quickly, leaves him laying on his couch. His stomach isn't even all that big. He can ignore this. If he pretends nothing is wrong, then it'll be just like nothing is wrong.

Four weeks pass without much fuss. He's nauseous all the time and he's starting to have weird cravings but aside from that he's fine. Sure, his belt is a little tighter. Yeah, his chest piece digs into his skin rather painfully. But he's fine.

Acknowledging that he's not would make it real.

Evil X figures a trip to the shopping district can't hurt. He hasn't been mining but Xisuma hasn't missed the diamond or two he nicks every week and he's now got a total of nine diamonds. Enough to buy one plot of land, or some goodies.

His portal is pretty far out and there's no path to it, but he has the coordinates saved so there's no fear in turning towards 0,0 and walking.

The shopping district is a little more built up now than it was a month ago. He sees a few hermits walking around and building. As he scans the district he realizes he's... not exactly sure what he wants. There's a lot of shops and a lot of things he could buy and he's craving something but he's not sure what it is.

Evil X jumps down the elevator and starts wandering. Nothing like a little exploration to find what he wants. Five Goats is tempting but he knows someone will have undercut Doc again by now. Best to keep looking.

Iskall is on Grian's barge, of course. Iskall waves hello and Evil X grunts as a greeting.

"You've been eating well, huh?" Iskall comments.

"What?" Evil X says.

"You know," Iskall says, and then gestures to his stomach. "Must be quite a stash you have at your base."

"Fuck you, don't fucking _say_ that," Evil X hisses, backing off the barge. "I'm not - I'm not _fat_ , don't call me that, I haven't gained a _kilo_ , fuck you!"

"Whoa, hey, sorry, I'm sorry," Iskall says, raising his hands. "I didn't mean it in a bad way, I-"

"I don't care, I'm not, fuck you, don't fucking _talk_ to me," Evil X snarls. He wraps his arms around his abdomen and runs back to the portal. Iskall doesn't follow him.

He hides in his bed and cries when he gets home.

Xisuma comes to check on him a week later. He hasn't left his bed much, a mix of nausea and self-loathing glueing him to his sheets. He only knows Xisuma is there because he can hear his brother's helmet.

"What do you want," Evil X mumbles, muffled by his pillow.

"It's been a week since anyone saw you. We're all worried, Iskall especially," Xisuma says.

"I'm fine," Evil X says.

"You cussed out Iskall after two seconds of talking to him. That's not okay." Xisuma pulls a chair up next to his bed.

"I don't care." Evil X pulls his blanket over his face. It's childish. He's being childish.

"Don't be like that, this is serious. Iskall's been messaging me nonstop to check on you. At least let him apologize," Xisuma says.

"No," Evil X says.

"Evil X." Xisuma's tone leaves no room for argument.

"Xisuma." Evil X is being petulant. He doesn't care. Xisuma sighs.

"What did he even say to make you that upset?" Xisuma asks.

Evil X's arms slide to his stomach, concealing the roundness. "None of your business."

"Alright. Be like that. See if I care." Xisuma gets up. Evil X hears him dial on his comm and peeks at him from under the blanket.

The comm rings for a second before Iskall picks up. "Is he okay? You told him I'm sorry, right?"

"He won't talk to me," Xisuma says. "If you want to try, his base's coordinates are-"

" _Don't-_ I'll talk, I'll talk," Evil X shouts, flinging himself out of bed and trying to snatch Xisuma's comm. His lack of depth perception means he misses as Xisuma raises it over his head.

"To me or to Iskall?" Xisuma asks.

"I don't care, both of you, don't tell him where my base is!" Evil X says.

"Alright, I won't tell him where your base is. What made you so upset?" Xisuma asks.

"I said he was chubby," Iskall says. "I didn't mean it to hurt him."

Xisuma eyes Evil X. Evil X covers his stomach with his arms.

"All this fuss because of a little weight gain?" Xisuma asks.

"I'm _not_ _fat_!" Evil X snarls. "We're just as identical as we've always been, I haven't gained a _single_ _kilo_ , I'm not fucking fat!"

"Of course you're not," Iskall says.

"I'm not saying you are, but you can't deny that you're rounder than you were," Xisuma says.

Evil X punches Xisuma. Decks him right across the face, hard enough to drop his comm and stagger back a couple steps. The disconnect sound plays on the comm.

"Listen. I get that you're insecure, but that was uncalled for," Xisuma says.

" _I'm not fucking insecure_!" Evil X screeches. His voice cracks as his eye starts to fill with tears. " _There's nothing wrong with me!_ "

Evil X stares at Xisuma, heart pounding, breathing heavy, tears running down his face.

"Evil X," Xisuma says.

"Get out of my house." Evil X points to the door.

"Evil X-"

" _GET OUT OF MY FUCKING HOUSE_!" Evil X roars. Xisuma flinches at his volume.

Evil X stares as Xisuma walks out of his house and into his Nether portal. He screams once he's alone, punching his pillow and yelling until his voice is hoarse.

He cries himself to sleep that night.

When he emerges from his house a few days later, nobody comments on how obviously round he's become.

Evil X returns to the shopping district. He raids Stress's potion shop first. He's craving a lot of weird things and he's going to stretch his nine diamonds as far as they'll go. Fire resistance, strength, regen, and night vision find their way into his inventory. He probably doesn't pay enough for them, but he didn't steal so he considers it a win.

Etho stops him as he's carting his hoard back to the portal.

"Hello!" Etho says. Evil X stops to wave before trying to continue walking.

"Hey, wait, I'm trying to give you something," Etho says. He pulls out a shulker box and retrieves a cake. "I heard you were having a rough time, so I made a cake for you."

"Um. Thanks," Evil X says. He doesn't want to take the cake but he'll be damned if he isn't craving it hard.

He grabs it slowly, half expecting Etho to stop him and tell him it's a joke. But Etho doesn't stop him, and he puts the cake in his inventory.

"Have fun at your base," Etho says, picking up his shulker and continuing on the path like that was completely normal.

Though, Evil X supposes the hermits do things like that for each other a lot. He doesn't put too much thought into it, just slinks into the portal and back to his base.

Two weeks later, he's getting dressed to skulk around some hermits' bases for a little bit. His underclothes go on just fine, as does the first layer of armor, but his trousers are a little too snug to be comfortable. Evil X tries to put his belt on. It goes most of the way around, but refuses to clasp over his stomach.

He freezes. The belt won't pull tighter, and it's just a tad too short to click. He tries to pull his stomach in, but still the belt doesn't buckle.

Evil X stamps down his panic in favor of trying to put his chestplate on. It slips over his head like it usually does. The left side fastens just fine, clicking shut easily. When he tries to fasten the right, he can't squeeze it shut over his stomach.

He blinks, and tries again. It digs into his skin painfully and won't fasten no matter how hard he presses the pieces together.

Tears are stinging his eye, now. Neither his belt nor his chestplate fit, and he's pretty sure he'll be too big for his pants soon. He can't ignore it anymore.

He decides he just won't leave his base. If nobody sees him, nobody will realize he's pregnant and he can deal with the whole baby thing when that comes. Evil X strips his armor off, lays in his bed, and lets himself cry.

He wears sweatpants and tee shirts exclusively for the next four weeks. He doesn't leave his base. He regrets not making a proper food farm, because he has to ration his remaining stack of golden carrots to last as long as possible, especially as his nausea fades. Eventually he'll have to get more food, but he can burn that bridge when he gets to it.

His comm beeps and he figures he'll stop ignoring messages. It's been three weeks since he's responded to anyone. He unlocks the device and opens the message.

I'm coming to check on you.

Evil X's heart drops. The message was sent fifteen minutes ago, Xisuma will be here in the next few minutes. There's no escaping this time.

A knock at his door startles him.

"Evil X, are you in there?" Xisuma calls.

"What do you want?" Evil X shouts back. Maybe if he plays this right Xisuma won't come in.

"Come let me in," Xisuma says. "It's been three weeks, I'm checking on you."

"Fine," Evil X says. He gets up and opens the door, standing behind it as Xisuma walks in. He slouches, trying to hide under his loose tee shirt.

"Why haven't you been out of your base in three weeks?" Xisuma asks.

"No reason," Evil X says. Xisuma steps closer and Evil X steps away. Xisuma frowns at him.

"What's wrong," Xisuma asks.

"Nothing's wrong," Evil X says around the lump that's formed in his throat. He wraps his arms around the swell of his stomach, hiding it from Xisuma's view. Xisuma huffs.

"I know something's wrong. Show me."

Evil X only hunches over further. Admitting something is wrong will make it real. He'd very much like to keep living in his fantasy world where it's not happening.

" _Evil X_." Xisuma's tone leaves no room for argument.

Evil X bites back a sob as he drops his arms. His stomach isn't all that big, not yet, but Xisuma will know. And Xisuma will realize what happened. And Evil X wants none of it.

"You're anxious about a little weight gain again?" Xisuma says, annoyed.

" _Use your scanner, you ass_ ," Evil X hisses. Xisuma sighs, but the familiar beep of the scanner reaches Evil X's ears. And then the scan completes, and Xisuma pales under his helmet.

"Oh, Evil X," Xisuma says. "Can I hug you?"

Evil X nods and lets Xisuma wrap his arms around him. He enjoys the moment, soaks up the comfort and breathes in his brother's smell.

"Why didn't you think I was - yanno, _that_ \- at first?" Evil X asks.

"... I'd forgotten you were trans," Xisuma mumbles.

The satisfaction of watching Xisuma squirm in pain is well worth the glare he gets from kneeing Xisuma right in the dick.

"So, now that we've settled that," Xisuma says through clenched teeth, "do you have any clothes that'll fit you once you really start to grow?"

"Yeah," Evil X says.

"Such as?" Xisuma asks. Evil X gestures to the sweatpants and tee shirt he's currently wearing. "You don't honestly expect to wear one outfit for the next few months, do you?"

"I have some others," Evil X says.

"In bigger sizes, or just these?" Xisuma asks.

"Why would I need bigger sizes, it's stretchy," Evil X says. Xisuma sighs.

"Stress knows how to sew, we can ask her to make you some things," he says.

"No, we're not, nobody else is going to know," Evil X says.

"You can't honestly expect to keep this a secret much longer," Xisuma says.

"I can and I will," Evil X says. Xisuma sighs.

"Whether you want them to or not, the hermits are going to notice," he says.

"Not if I don't leave my house," Evil X says.

"Nobody's going to judge you, I don't see why you're so stubborn about this. Do you really want to run around in your underwear as soon as you outgrow these clothes?" Xisuma asks. Evil X pauses.

"No," he says.

"Then we have to talk to someone about getting you some bigger ones for when you need them, and Stress can make them quickest," Xisuma says.

"Fine. But only her, no one else," Evil X says.

Stress's jungle base is endearing, if a bit brightly colored for Evil X's taste. She's waiting at the main dome for Xisuma and Evil X, sorting through some thread. There's a quick sewing setup there, a sewing machine atop a wooden table with bins of fabric scattered about.

"Stress?" Xisuma calls, not wanting to startle her.

“Ello, Xisuma, Evil X!" Stress greets. "You said you needed some sewing done?"

"Yeah, and you have to keep it secret. He doesn't want anyone knowing," Xisuma says.

"Knowing what?" Stress asks. She turns around and quickly schools her shocked expression. Evil X slouches a bit more. "Right, well! That's something! How far along are you?"

"Nineteen weeks," Evil X mumbles.

"Nineteen weeks!" Stress sounds surprised, but doesn't say whatever she's thinking. "Have your feet started swelling yet?"

Evil X and Xisuma share a glance.

"His feet are going to swell?" Xisuma echoes.

"Neither of you have any experience with pregnancy, do you," Stress says. Evil X and Xisuma shake their heads in unison. "Alright, I can shine some light on it for ya! Sit down, it'll be much comfier."

Evil X takes the closer chair. Xisuma doesn't comment on how he half-sits half-falls into the chair.

"You said my feet are going to swell?" Evil X asks.

"Yeah, in the next month or so none of your socks and shoes will fit. Before we go further on that, I need to know what you want me to make you," Stress says.

"Uh, just some sweatpants and tee shirts?" Evil X says.

"Sweatpants and tee shirts. Stand up, I need to get your measurements. Are you, um, binding, or have you," Stress trails off as she gestures at her chest.

"Binding," Evil X says.

"Binder needs to come off, too," Stress says. "You might want X to help you. I won't look."

"Okay," Evil X says.

He gets up and goes to the opposite side of the dome before stripping his shirt off. His binder fights him, but he's able to wrestle it off without help. Evil X pulls his tee shirt back on before returning to the sewing table.

Stress is holding a measuring tape.

"Just a few measurements, and then you can sit down again," she says. "Arms out."

Evil X T-poses as she measures his torso length and circumference, as well as shoulder width. He gets to balance with a chair when she moves to his legs. Measuring around his stomach is uncomfortable, but Stress is quick about it. She measures how long his legs are from waist to ankle and then around his ankle.

Evil X jumps when she touches his thigh to measure his inseam. It's just for a second, and then she's done.

"Okay, measurements done. Go ahead and pick some fabrics while I get the patterns out," Stress says.

Evil X picks a few greys and reds, as well as a white cotton. One fabric is almost identical to his current pair of sweatpants.

"There's a bin of stretchy fabrics for socks, pick some out," Stress says.

Evil X spots the bin easily, it's labeled with a cartoon picture of some socks. There's a variety of fabrics, some patterned and some not. He picks a few neutral tones and white.

"Is this all?" he asks.

"If you want it to be," Stress replies. "About the swelling, you'll want a pair of slip-ons and some closed-toe shoes in a size bigger than what you currently wear."

"I can lend you some," Xisuma says.

"Okay," Evil X says. "Not your turtle ones, though."

"Of course not, I like them too much," Xisuma says with a chuckle.

"I've got everything set, it should only take me a week or two to finish everything. I'll let you know when I'm half done," Stress says.

"We'll be going, then," Xisuma says. "Bye-bye."

"See you later!" Stress says.

Evil X hums a goodbye as Xisuma pulls him to his feet and down the hall to the exit.

A week later, Xisuma is dragging him back to Stress's as half the requested items are done and Evil X's sweatpants are starting to get uncomfortably tight. She greets them with a smile.

"I've got some new clothes for ya!" she says, holding a shulker with his name painted on in purple and blue letters. Stress sticks the shulker down. Evil X opens it up.

Inside are several folded pairs of sweatpants, several tee shirts, some pairs of socks, and some bralettes. Evil X pauses.

"I didn't ask for these," he says quietly, pointing to the bralettes.

"Yeah, but I figured that since you didn't know your feet would swell, you probably didn't know your breasts would swell either. And since you bind, you probably don't have any, right?" Stress says. Evil X bites his lip. She's got him there. And the bralettes are plain, not overtly feminine.

"Thanks," he murmurs. He stamps down the upset brewing in his chest. This is a kindness, he can't take it out on her. He closes the shulker and picks it up.

"The rest will be done soon, and no more surprises," Stress says.

Xisuma drags him to the shopping district on his way home. Evil X lurks behind him, closer to a nervous breakdown with each step he takes.

"Are you alright?" Xisuma asks.

"I'm fine," Evil X mumbles. The click of barrels as Xisuma collects profits from the stone shop are irritating.

Xisuma's shopping trip is long, and Evil X's feet are starting to hurt by the time Xisuma drags him to shop number three. The redstone shop is dim, but the barrels click and clank as Xisuma digs through them.

It's pissing Evil X off something _fierce_.

"Are you sure you're alright?" Xisuma asks.

"Fine," Evil X grumbles.

He thinks he's going to lose it when Xisuma realizes he forgot the honey shop and drags Evil X back over. His feet hurt more with each step, it feels like he's being kicked from the inside, slouching to hide his stomach is starting to hurt his back, and the noise the barrels make is infuriating. Xisuma retrieves the honey shop profits and starts down the path to the portal.

"Are you absolutely sure you're okay?" Xisuma asks. It's the straw that breaks the camel's back.

"No, I'm _not_ okay! You've been dragging me around for _hours_ and my feet hurt and my back hurts and I didn't even _want_ to come on this stupid shopping trip!" Evil X explodes. "I just wanted to go _home_ but you insisted and I only agreed because I was sick of fighting you on shit!"

"Whoa, there's no need to shout-"

"You're not the one who has to deal with a bunch of stupid fucking _surprises_ about your own body!" Evil X screeches. "You're not the one who cried every day for a _week_ _straight_ when I found out! You didn't fucking chug a bunch of _disgusting_ potions only for them to not _fucking_ work!"

"Evil X, there's-"

"You don't understand _anything_! You still fit your armor! You didn't even know until last fucking week! You had to _scan_ _me_ to find out!" Evil X screams. "You're not the one who's gonna be stuck like this for four more _fucking_ months!"

Evil X pauses, chest heaving as he tries to catch his breath. Xisuma takes the opportunity. "Evil X, we're in public," he says.

Evil X glances at the hermits who are staring at him, and Iskall, who is very much avoiding turning in his direction. He looks back at Xisuma. Even under the mask, his brother is worried.

He probably looks like a mess, shouting at Xisuma in his sweats in the middle of the shopping district. Evil X opens and closes his mouth a few times, trying to find the right words. He wants to apologize.

"I want to go home," he says. "I want to go _home_."

Xisuma gently pulls him through the portal, walks him the several hundred blocks to his portal. Evil X pauses outside the swirling purple membrane.

"Well?" Xisuma says.

"I'm sorry," Evil X murmurs. "I shouldn't have yelled at you."

Xisuma pauses. "I forgive you," he says. "You didn't mean it."

Xisuma puts his hand on Evil X's shoulder awkwardly. Evil X leans into it, until Xisuma wraps his other arm around him. He hugs Xisuma back.

It's nice.

Evil X wakes to a knocking at his door. He rolls out of bed, nearly losing his balance in the process, and lumbers over to his door. Etho is outside, holding a red shulker box.

"Hello!" Etho says.

"Mornin," Evil X rasps.

"Some of the hermits and I put together a care package for you," Etho says, patting the shulker in his arms. Evil X blinks.

"You did?" he says.

"Yup!" Etho says. He hands the shulker to Evil X. Evil X peeks inside.

The shulker is filled to the brim with potions, a cake, some pies and pastries, a soft blanket, and various other bits and bobs. Everything in the box is either something he's been craving or a comfort object. Evil X doesn't mean to cry, but he can feel tears pricking at his eyes anyways.

"Aw, it's okay, come here," Etho says. He's pulled into a loose hug, careful of the shulker. Evil X pops the shulker in his inventory and hugs Etho back. Etho's hug is different from Xisuma's, he's squeezing a little tighter and he's a tad shorter than Evil X, but it's no less comforting.

Etho pats Evil X's back before pulling away. "Glad you like it," he says.

Etho leaves, and Evil X takes the care package inside.

Evil X finds that he's starting to waddle more than walk, as the weight and girth of his stomach makes the act of putting one foot in front of the other more and more difficult. Getting from place to place in his own base is difficult. There's no way he's going to try and wobble all the way to someone else's base.

He's run into the issue of he still doesn't have a reliable food source, and the rationing he's done on the care package goodies will only last him a few days longer. It's either run around with a sword killing animals or waddle his way over to the shopping district and get something. And he's not stupid enough to believe he could catch an animal at his pace.

The Nether's heat weighs down on him heavier than usual. As he walks, his skin feels like it's burning and he can feel his veins swelling with blood. Evil X is tempted to duck into the nearest portal structure for some shade, except he's got a couple hundred blocks to go before he gets near anyone else's portal. And the sun isn't the issue. The only fix is getting to the shopping district portal as fast as he can.

The heat blurs his vision. He feels sick, like he might actually throw up. It feels like his insides are writhing. His binder restricts his heavy breathing more than it usually does, like it's tighter than normal. Evil X staggers to the nearest portal and falls through, leaning against the obsidian on the other side as the cool air of the Overworld surrounds him. Slowly, he sinks into a sitting position.

He doesn't know how long he sits there, listening to the portal as he cools down, only that wherever he is is heavenly compared to the Nether. He's so unaware that he doesn't hear someone approaching him, until they speak up.

"Well, that's a sight to see," Cleo says, startling Evil X. He looks up at her. "What are you doing at my portal?"

"Trying to get to the shopping district," Evil X mumbles. "Got too hot."

"Ah. Don't let me stop you, then," Cleo says. Evil X watches as she pulls out her pick and starts tearing the stone floor of the portal room up. Just his luck.

But he really doesn't want to go back into the Nether, so he deals with it.

Cleo tears apart the whole room while he watches. She fiddles with her comm for a second once the room's been reduced to just the portal, before setting down several shulkers and starting to redecorate the room.

She's barely finished the floor when the portal swirls next to Evil X and Xisuma walks through.

"Hello, Cleo, you called?" Xisuma says.

"X, that's exactly what I told you not to say when you walked through the portal," Cleo says, smiling despite her deadpan tone.

"Ah. My bad. What did you need?" Xisuma asks.

Cleo nods at Evil X, and Xisuma looks down. Evil X waves at his brother.

Xisuma pauses. "Well, then," he says.

"Nether was too hot," Evil X explains.

"Where were you headed?" Xisuma asks.

"Shopping district," Evil X says. "Figured taking a break to the Overworld was better than puking from heat stroke."

"Ah. Do you want me to sail you the rest of the way there?" Xisuma offers. Evil X opens his mouth to refuse, but pauses.

He really would rather not go back into the Nether, and he doesn't think he can row himself all the way to the shopping district. There's no way to walk all the way there and there's no way he can fly like this.

"Yes," he grumbles. Xisuma pulls him to his feet and steadies him when he staggers. Cleo directs them to the exit. Right outside her gate is the sea surrounding the shopping district.

Xisuma crafts a boat and pushes it into the gentle waves. He steps into the water next to it and helps Evil X climb in. Evil X barely stays out of the water. Xisuma is much more graceful climbing into the boat.

The scenery is just ocean all the way to the shopping district. The two do pass spawn island, with the portal and the chest and a bed. Evil X thinks it looks stupid.

The boat runs aground at the shopping district. Xisuma helps Evil X step out, and follows him around the shopping district.

"What did you need from here?" Xisuma asks.

"I'm running out of food again," Evil X says.

"Do you have money to buy food?" Xisuma says.

"Yes," Evil X says.

Xisuma stops asking questions and just follows Evil X to Grian's barge. Evil X almost slips stepping onto it and Xisuma has to hold onto him for him to walk. But he's able to buy out Grian's remaining stacks of golden carrots at the Evil Xisuma discount price, so he considers it a win.

Xisuma helps him off the barge and follows him to the Nether portal. Evil X stops in front of it, staring at the swirling purple and remembering how close to puking he came last time he ventured in.

"Evil X," Xisuma says.

"What do you want," Evil X says, harsher than intended.

"I can tell you don't want to go back in. I can also see you're having trouble walking. I think," Xisuma pauses, glancing at Evil X's belly, "that it would be better if you stayed with me until this... _situation_ is over."

Evil X isn't fond of the idea of staying with Xisuma. He likes his little base, his wooden cottage and his handmade farms, and he's not keen to trade it for Xisuma's cold, calculated precision. But he knows he won't survive the trip back to his own base, and his brother is not the worst person to bunk with for a few months.

"Fine," he says. "I don't want to go through the Nether."

Xisuma boats him to the savannah near the jungle wordlessly. The walk is long, but at least it's not deathly hot. The afternoon sun warms Evil X's face and he finds it pleasant.

Xisuma builds a room for him in the same tower his own room is in. Evil X's is much harder to fall out of, one floor below Xisuma's and lacking elytra entrances. Xisuma retrieves the comfort objects Evil X left at his own base and leaves them in the room. Even the care package shulker is brought over.

Stress delivers the rest of the clothes while Evil X is setting his room up. Xisuma brings her up and Evil X tells her thank you. She hugs him, gently but still too touchy-feely for his liking.

And then he's alone, all his belongings organized and his bed made and a cat Xisuma tamed snoozing on his windowsill. He's tired. It's been a busy day.

Evil X strips his shirt and binder off, and falls asleep in his bed.

He wakes up a few hours later, sweaty and uncomfortably warm. When he inhales, his ribs protest a little, like something's pressing on them. Evil X rolls out of bed and grabs his binder.

It fits over his shoulders just fine, but it's a struggle getting it over his breasts. Once he does manage to roll it down past them, his ribs start to scream at him. And it doesn't flatten him like it used to.

He puts his shirt on to confirm. His chest visibly protrudes more than it usually does. It's not like he'd be able to bind very long anyways with his ribs as painful as they are. Evil X wrestles the binder off and buries it in a shulker box.

Then he sits on his bed and screams into his pillow, beating his fists against the blankets in anger. His pillow gets thrown across the room violently and he follows it to kick it, unable to stop the tears rolling down his face.

Evil X exhausts himself quickly, eventually leaning against the wall and letting himself cry. He can't even curl into a ball, his stomach is too large for his legs to do more than cross in front of him.

Xisuma finds him some time later, after he'd cried himself out. He looks a mess, if the raised brows his brother gives him is any indication.

"What do you want," Evil X croaks.

"I came up to fetch you for dinner," Xisuma says. "No binder today?"

The question is innocent enough. Xisuma means no ill will. But Evil X is hormonal and upset and it makes him so very, very angry. "It doesn't fucking _fit_ ," he growls. "I tried to put it on and it hurt to breathe and it barely even _worked_."

"Ah," Xisuma says. "I'm sorry."

"Help me up," Evil X huffs. He can't take out all his frustrations on Xisuma. He can throw another fit after dinner. Maybe X will get him something to break or throw other than his pillow.

Xisuma takes his hand and helps pull Evil X to his feet. Evil X waddles behind Xisuma to the elevator and follows Xisuma down.

Xisuma drags him along to the next month's meeting. He gets a chair next to Xisuma's, hastily made but still very comfortable. The hermits who attend stare at him as they trickle in. He's very glad Xisuma carries on as though he's nonexistent.

The meeting begins at seven in the evening. A total of twelve hermits attend, though Evil X doesn't care to look who. Xisuma starts with a recap of how something called 'lithium' is performing, which consists of a lot of data that flies over Evil X's head.

Evil X half-listens to the meeting while overthinking everything. He tries to hide how anxious he's making himself, though he knows he does a poor job of it. He can feel the hermits glancing at him and occasionally he meets their glances.

The meeting continues. All the hermits get a chance to talk. Evil X doesn't pay attention to what they say. The chatter goes back to mostly Xisuma reciting numbers and data.

"-and that's about it for this week's meeting. Any questions?" Xisuma says, drawing Evil X out of his thoughts. Nobody raises their hand. Xisuma nods. "Alright. Now I'm sure you've all noticed everything going on with Evil X, or at least heard of it. There will be no judgement here, but I've brought him to answer some questions."

Evil X looks at the hermits, all staring expectantly. He swallows around the lump that's suddenly formed in his throat. His arms snake over his stomach, as though he could hide it. Evil X's gaze falls to his hands.

"I'm pregnant," he murmurs.

The room is so silent he can hear his own heartbeat.

Hypno speaks up first. "How did you... get pregnant?" he asks.

"Was it planned?" Beef asks.

"How long until baby?" Keralis asks.

"Who's the father?" Tango asks.

"I, uh, I - it's," Evil X stammers. There's too many eyes on him, suddenly, the room is too small and he feels like he's trapped. It's hard to breathe, like someone is sitting on top of him. "I don't - I - I can't-"

"You're okay, breathe," Xisuma says, placing a hand on Evil X's shoulder. Evil X slaps it off, trying not to hyperventilate.

He can't breathe. He can't stop thinking about it, about how he got pregnant, about what happened, about hands all over his body, _touching_ and _feeling_ and _exploring-_

"Evil X, look at me," someone says. He blinks the tears out of his eye and looks at the blurry figure in front of him. Blonde hair, green jacket. False. "You're okay. You don't have to answer any questions you don't want to."

Evil X can't stop the sob that escapes him. His hands are shaking.

"Can I touch you?" False asks. He thinks of hands on his body and shakes his head rapidly. "Okay. Do you want to go home?" Evil X nods. "Xisuma, I assume you can take it from here."

"Here, come on, the portal's not far," Xisuma says. Evil X gets up slowly, the girth of his belly making finding his balance difficult. Xisuma holds his arms out as an offer, but doesn't forcibly assist.

Evil X follows Xisuma to the portal. It's a short walk to Xisuma's base, and an even shorter one to his room. Xisuma stays by his side the whole time, never touching him but offering an arm whenever he stumbles.

He falls into his bed roughly. His breath still hitches. He lays down and Xisuma helps him get his blanket over himself.

Xisuma starts to walk towards the elevator. Evil X finds his voice before Xisuma disappears.

"Wait," he says, voice shaky. Xisuma turns to look at him. "Stay. Please."

Xisuma nods. He returns to Evil X's bedside, dragging a chair with him. Xisuma sits next to the bed, not watching Evil X but not ignoring him, either. Evil X lets his eyes slide shut, finally feeling that he's safe.

A week later, he's snooping through the shopping district, poking in any shop that catches his eye. And stealing a few diamonds from Xisuma's shops. He's got to keep his brother on his toes and all. Evil X snags a diamond from the discount concrete shop and adds it to his meager collection.

It's helpful that he's done so, because he doesn't hate Stress and he's pretty sure she'd kick his ass if he stole from her shop in broad daylight. He drops the diamonds in the barrel and starts taking potions. He's craving the fruity sweetness of regen, right now, and the painkiller properties of the potion certainly don't hurt.

And then something kicks him. _Hard_. It startles him and has him doubled over, leaning on the barrel to support himself, gasping as he tries not to cry out.

He's aware of someone next to him, offering an arm to lean on. Evil X takes it, squeezing the hand as the sharp pain starts to fade to a dull throb.

"Are you okay?" the someone asks. Evil X identifies the voice as Iskall. He glances up at Iskall, who is blurry. Evil X tries to blink the tears back.

"Useless clump of cells kicked me hard," Evil X says through clenched teeth.

"Here," Iskall says, retrieving a potion from his inventory, "this will help." Evil X lets Iskall hold the potion for him, as humiliating as it is there's no way he can hold it himself with how bad his hands are shaking. The meaty fizz of instant health slides down his throat. He cringes at the flavor, but the potion does its job.

"Thanks," Evil X mumbles. Iskall nods, and helps Evil X stand back up.

"Have you had a check-up?" Iskall asks.

"What? Why would I need a check-up, I'm not sick," Evil X says.

"But you are pregnant," Iskall says. "And that does things to your body."

"Oh," Evil X breathes. "Probably no issue."

"What if it's not?" Iskall says. "What if something's wrong and you just can't feel it?"

Evil X stares at his belly. If something goes wrong, it's very close to all his vital organs. It could kill him. Iskall has a point.

"I'll let Xisuma scan me," he says. "You can - you can be there. If you want."

Iskall nods. Evil X doesn't let out a sigh of relief, he doesn't want Iskall to know that he's happy it won't just be him and Xisuma dealing with whatever the scan says.

Iskall walks him to Xisuma's base, which Evil X appreciates. Walking gets harder each week.

Iskall offers to find Xisuma for Evil X once they've reached the kitchen. Evil X decides to attract his brother's attention by smashing a block of glass on the ground and screeching "fuck" as loud as he possibly can. As expected, Xisuma is rushing into the room within a few minutes.

"I heard a crash, is everything alright?" Xisuma says, out of breath. "Why is Iskall here?"

"I talked him into a check-up," Iskall says when Evil X doesn't answer.

"Ah, I see. Sit down, I'll get it loaded up."

Evil X sits down at the small table in the kitchen. Iskall sits next to him. Xisuma taps a few buttons on the side of his helmet, then turns to Evil X. The familiar beeps of Xisuma's helmet conducting the scan ring out, and then it's done.

"Twenty-seven weeks along, no detected complications, it's twins," Xisuma recites. "Wait - it's twins?"

The sob escapes Evil X's mouth before he's fully processed the news. He finds himself crying a second later, sobbing uncontrollably as he processes the news.

"I'm sorry," Xisuma murmurs. Evil X doesn't remember Xisuma coming to his side.

"Do you want a hug?" Iskall offers. Evil X nods, hoping it's not buried by his crying. Iskall wraps his arms around Evil X, letting Evil X bury his face in his shoulder. The pressure is nice. Iskall pats his back as he cries.

Xisuma's hand starts gently rubbing his shoulder. It's comforting.

The contact isn't worth the news that he's carrying twins.

Evil X spends the next three weeks mostly in bed. Sometimes he'll wander Xisuma's base, or snoop at Keralis's, but mostly he sticks to his bedroom.

His stomach is massive, now. His back aches most days. Getting up is difficult, walking is difficult, even rolling over in bed is difficult. He has to pee every thirty minutes, he nearly pisses himself every time he sneezes. He can't even get dressed by himself anymore, though it's not like he fits into his armor these days. Xisuma helps him into a fresh pair of sweatpants every other day, so he's not disgusting, but it's been two weeks since he was steady enough to shower on his own.

He hates how big his breasts look under his shirts, there's no way in hell he's letting anyone see him naked. He can be grungy for a little while.

Xisuma makes him food in the mornings. He usually spends his days with Joe, Stress, Bdubs, or Tango, because they know what the signs of labor are. They'll feed him lunch while he shadows whatever project they're working on, and then Doc, Etho, or Iskall will swing by to take him home and on the way they fix him dinner. Or, in Etho's case, bring him to Beef's so Beef can feed him before taking him to Xisuma's.

Evil X is tired of the whole being pregnant thing. He can't bind, he's miserable, he wants the babies _out_. He'd induce if that were an option, but it's still far too early. And he's much too far along to be able to write it off as abortion.

He expresses this to Bdubs as he watches the man fuss over some details inside a house.

"You're mad that you got kicked again, aren't you," Bdubs says. Evil X scowls

"Maybe," he says, scratching the persistent itchy spot on his belly.

"Do you want another ice pack? Or a heat pack, I have those, too," Bdubs offers.

"I want to be done with being pregnant," Evil X groans. He's being petulant, but he feels like he deserves to be a little cross at his whole situation.

"There's only a few months left," Bdubs says. Evil X rrghs, leaning back against the wall he's sitting by. Bdubs stops pondering saplings and turns to face him. "I can always cuddle you until you fall asleep, that seemed to work well when Xisuma did it," he suggests.

Evil X feels his face redden. But he hasn't been sleeping well, and a nap doesn't sound bad. Neither does the cuddling, though he'd never admit it. "Please," he says. Bdubs chuckles.

"Alright, come on. There's a better bedroom in my actual house." Bdubs helps pull Evil X up to his feet and leads him to a different, equally detailed, house.

Bdubs helps him climb into the bed and get comfy before joining him. Evil X has a few inches on Bdubs, but it's easy to curl up a little and lay his head on Bdubs' chest. Bdubs cards his fingers through Evil X's hair, humming lullabies.

Though he's sore and still upset, sleep finds Evil X easily.

It's dim when he wakes, though bright sunlight shines behind the curtains he's looking at. Evil X feels surprisingly okay. He's not as sore, he's no longer exhausted, and for the first time in a while his bladder isn't full to bursting when he wakes.

Evil X moves to get out of bed when he feels it. There's a lot of wetness around his crotch. For a moment, he wonders if his water broke. Then he remembers he doesn't have to pee, and the realization hits him.

He pulls the covers back a little, and the pungent stench of his own urine assaults his nose. Tears fill his eye without his permission as his whole face heats up. There's no way he can get out of this without someone finding out - Bdubs will find the wet bed regardless of if he's in it or not and he's not keen on walking across the server in wet pants.

Evil X hears the door open quietly, and turns to see Bdubs quietly entering the room.

"Oh, you're awake! How are you feeling?" Bdubs asks. Evil X is silent, trying to find something to say. Bdubs steps closer. "Is everything okay?"

"It's - I'm fine, it's nothing, don't-" Evil X pauses as he sees Bdubs sniff the air and realize.

"Hey, it's okay. It happens to the best of us," Bdubs says.

"No it's _not_ , it's _not okay_ , I fucking _pissed the bed_!" Evil X cries.

"You're pregnant, you got two whole humans pressing on your organs. I should've woken you up," Bdubs says. "This isn't your fault and it's nothing to be embarrassed by."

"You're not the one who - who fucking - who _wet the bed_ ," Evil X stammers, trying not to cry.

"I know. I have some sweatpants you can borrow. Did it get on your shirt?" Bdubs asks. Evil X feels his blush deepen as he feels the hem of his shirt and finds the back of it is definitely not dry. His choked sob is enough of an answer for Bdubs.

"I'm sorry that I didn't wake you up. Nobody else will know, I promise," Bdubs says, digging through the dresser and retrieving the spare clothes. "Can you get dressed on your own?"

Evil X doesn't want to admit he can't even get out of his soiled clothing on his own. He shakes his head.

"Alright. I'll help you out of your clothes, and you can clean up a bit in the bathroom, and then I'll help you into the fresh clothes," Bdubs says.

Evil X tries not to cry as Bdubs helps him up and walks him to the bathroom. He feels _disgusting_ , the wet fabric is cold and sticking to his legs and he's itchy where the urine has been soaking into his skin.

He uses the wall to balance while Bdubs pulls his sweatpants and underwear off for him, an incredibly uncomfortable interaction, and pulls his shirt over his head once his pants are off. Bdubs looks away while he slips into the bathroom.

"Let me know if you need help," Bdubs yells through the wall. Evil X grunts a response.

The bathroom has a sink and towels, which makes the shower redundant for Evil X. He takes the soap bar out of the shower, as well as a washcloth. He wets the washcloth in the sink and rubs a little soap into it. He uses the wall to balance while he wipes his legs and groin off, as well as the lower half of his belly. Then he rinses the washcloth, reapplies the soap, and balances with the sink while wiping his back off. He towels the residual dampness off and knocks on the door.

"I'm finished," he croaks.

"I'm gonna hand your shirt through the door and then you can come out," Bdubs warns, before cracking the door open just wide enough to pass a plain white longsleeve through. Evil X grabs it and pulls it on. It definitely doesn't fit, the thirteen centimeters he has on Bdubs means the sleeves don't cover his wrists and his belly hangs out of the shirt, but it covers his chest at least.

He cracks the door open slightly to warn Bdubs before leaving the bathroom. Bdubs is behind the door, holding a pair of sweatpants and a pair of underwear.

"They're brand new, I keep a few spare pairs here just in case something like this ever happens," Bdubs says. Evil X nods.

Bdubs helping him into the underwear is almost more uncomfortable than being helped out of his soiled pants had been. But it's over fast, and getting the spare sweatpants on is easier, and then he's dressed.

"Etho's on his way over to take you to Beef's. You okay heading out?" Bdubs asks.

"Yeah," Evil X mumbles.

"I'll wash your clothes and return them when they're clean," Bdubs says. Evil X nods.

Etho knocks on the door a few minutes later. Bdubs helps Evil X to the door.

"What's with the outfit?" Etho asks, eyeing the obviously too-small shirt and pants that don't reach his ankles. Evil X freezes.

"I pushed him into the river," Bdubs says. "And, you know, he needed dry clothes."

Etho seems to buy it. "Alright. I've got the boat in the river, go wait over by it," he says to Evil X.

Evil X listens in on Etho and Bdubs' conversation as he slowly waddles down the riverbank.

"Did you really push him in?" Etho asks quietly.

"He fell in, was really embarrassed by it. I'm trying to save his dignity," Bdubs says. "You know how he is."

"Ah, okay. Thanks for letting me know," Etho says.

Evil X exhales, unaware he'd been holding his breath. Etho's by his side a few seconds later.

"You need help getting down?" he asks. Evil X nods. The river bank is steep where Etho parked the boat. Why the man didn't just leave it at the docks is beyond Evil X.

Etho rows him down the river and out to sea.

Xisuma questions his new outfit when Etho drops him off.

"I fell in the river," he says. "Bdubs has my stuff in the wash." Xisuma believes it.

He's relieved that at least only one person will know about his accident.

Joe's winery is one of Evil X's favorite places to be. It's peaceful, the gentle sloping hills are easy for him to traverse, and Joe is fun to spend time with. If it were under different circumstances, he might even enjoy it.

His bare feet are sticky with juice from fallen berries. His hands are sticky, too, from occasionally squishing a berry too hard when he picks it. Really, he's not supposed to be harvesting the berries, but Joe made the mistake of showing him where the baskets were.

He curses as he steps on another fallen bramble, pricking his foot again. Joe stands up from his spot in the adjacent row of bushes.

"Wearing shoes would help with that," Joe says, clicking the heels of his boots together.

"I don't wanna, though," Evil X whines. He and Joe have been going back and forth about shoes the whole morning. Loathe as he is to admit it, Evil X is starting to agree with Joe.

"And your feet wouldn't be sticky from berry juice," Joe adds. Another bramble digs into Evil X's heel.

"Fine. Putting my shoes on, now," Evil X says.

Joe follows him back to the winery, to make sure he doesn't need help getting up or down any staircases. The berry baskets are left just inside the winery doors.

Evil X grabs his shoes from the ender chest, as well as a pair of socks. He sits in a chair by the door and leans over to put his socks on.

He can't quite reach.

He tries again, but again he comes just a few centimeters short of being able to put his sock on.

"Would you like help?" Joe offers. Evil X shakes his head, feeling his eye fill with tears. He tries to sit cross-legged on the chair, but can't balance his leg on his knee long enough to get his sock on.

"It's okay to need help," Joe says.

"I don't _want_ to need help," Evil X whispers, voice shaky as he tries to hold back tears. He lets Joe take the sock from him.

"I know," Joe says, putting Evil X's socks on for him. Joe helps Evil X get his shoes on, as well. "It's okay to be upset."

Joe pulls Evil X up out of the seat. Evil X takes his basket from its place and follows Joe back out to the fields. The brambles don't hurt his feet when he steps on them.

Evil X wakes up panicking. His heart is pounding, his breaths are racing, and in his mind cling the dredges of horror his subconscious cooked up for him. The clock on his communicator tells him it's four in the morning. Too early to be up, but there's no way he's going back to sleep. Evil X pulls himself out of bed, swaying before finding his balance. His stomach is almost as big as he is, now. And the twins move a lot. He can see them moving now if he looks down.

Everyone is always telling him to eat, and Xisuma won't chide him for being up if he has something to eat. Plus, he can see the cat that hangs around the kitchen. That seals the deal for him. Evil X heads to the elevator and down to the kitchen.

The cat is waiting for him, almost like she knew he was up. She's a fluffy brown tabby who likes to cuddle Evil X and purrs when he lets her knead on his lap. Xisuma named her Charlotte, but Evil X calls her Beany. He thinks it suits her more. Beany "mrrp"s at him as he waddles to the pantry to raid Xisuma's stock of snacks. He "mrrp"s back.

This leads to a few minutes of Beany making a noise as she follows Evil X around the kitchen and Evil X mimicking that noise as best he can. He's craving the Twinkies that Tango indulged him in yesterday, but refuses to make the trip to go steal them. Biscuits it is. And maybe some milk or tea to dip them in. Or milk tea. Evil X grabs a selection of boxes and starts setting stuff on the counter.

Beany meows at him as he gets a mug and teapot out and starts heating the water for tea. He imagines she's telling him to share.

"Cats can't have biscuits," he tells her. She meows again, rubbing against his legs. He puts two teabags in the teapot he's using. And then he throws a third in, because one of the babies kicked him. Beany meows again.

"I know you want some, but you can't have any," he says. Beany purrs and presses her face against his leg. She's cute. He notices his back hurts again as the twins shift in his belly.

Evil X chatters at Beany as he waits for the water to heat. She meows in response to whatever he says, which he thinks is funny. It's like she thinks he understands what she's saying. It's also why he gave her a new name instead of any of the other cats. Beany talks to him, where Hermione, Oxford, and Lily don't.

The kettle starts to whistle and Evil X pours the tea into the pot. He talks with Beany as it steeps. She meows at him and keeps doing figure eights around his feet. He thinks that means she likes him. He pours his tea and grabs the milk from the fridge.

Beany follows him to the table and joins him in a chair, staring at him from across the tabletop. She looks silly, just her head tall enough to peek over, but she's purring at him.

Xisuma finds him an hour later, sleepy from having drunk an entire pot of tea and talking to Beany. He's probably got biscuit crumbs in his hair but he doesn't really care. He hasn't been kicked in an hour and the back pain is gone. He's as content as he can be.

"You're up early," Xisuma says. Evil X hums a response. "I can set up the couch if you don't want to go back upstairs to nap later."

"Yes," Evil X says. Beany "mrrp"s at him. "Hi, Beany."

"Her name is Charlotte," Xisuma says.

"Beany suits her better," Evil X says. Xisuma laughs.

"The couch is ready whenever you are. Do you want help cleaning up your tea?" Xisuma offers.

"Yeah," Evil X says. Xisuma gathers up the mug and pot to wash them while Evil X puts the biscuits and milk away.

Xisuma walks him to the couch and helps him get the blanket sorted once he's laid down. Beany curls up between the couch and the crook where his knees bend. Evil X drifts to sleep quickly.

His shirt is uncomfortably wet when he wakes up, which is weird. A quick pat tells him the blanket is dry, so it's probably not Beany knocking over a glass of water onto him. Also, there's no glass on the couch. He pulls the blanket off himself and pushes himself into an upright position.

The wetness on his shirt is centered on his chest in two circles. So he's lactating now, is what that means. That does explain why his binder stopped fitting a few weeks ago. Nothing he can do about it now but change into a shirt that isn't soaked with breast milk.

The back pain returns when he stands, wrapping around to the lower half of his belly this time. It makes hobbling to the elevator painful. The twins shift and he can see his belly move under his shirt.

Once he's in a fresh shirt he lays down in bed. Keralis will be around to let him graffiti under the path to Xisuma's soon, and he wants to try and get the ache to stop before then.

It does, and he's only got the discomfort of being heavily pregnant to contend with on the walk to Keralis's construction site. Keralis is full of questions, as usual.

"How are you feeling today? No pain?" Keralis asks.

"There's a little bit of pressure in my back. And it's hard to get out of bed. But otherwise it's not too bad," Evil X replies.

"Does the pressure sort of-" Keralis traces a line from his hip to just above his pants, "-do that?"

"Yeah, it does," Evil X says. "How did you know?"

"That's a contraction," Keralis explains. "Are they close together or far apart?"

"Uh, I've had two, one at four and one at six-thirty-ish," Evil X says.

"Good, good. Not active labor. No big graffiti today, alright? You need to rest more. Having the babies this early would be bad," Keralis says. "I bring you a chair, to sit while you paint."

"Okay," Evil X says.

Keralis leads him to where he stopped on his last project. The Spiderman piece on the adjacent building will have to wait until after he's given birth to finish. And the Binding of Isaac piece he wanted to finish today. Maybe he can paint some smaller things on the support beams today.

Keralis doesn't bring a chair. He brings a two-tiered platform cart with a cushion and a blanket on it.

"So you don't have to get up to move," he explains. "And there's room for paint underneath." It's genius, honestly. Evil X can move around by pushing the ground with his feet and he doesn't have to worry about leaving spraypaint cans everywhere because he can just stick them underneath on the lower layer of the cart.

"Thanks," Evil X says. Keralis helps him sit down on it, and confirms that everything is good.

"I will be just over there," Keralis points to the building with the half-complete Spiderman piece, "so yell if you need anything."

"I will," Evil X says. Keralis nods and heads off to work on whatever he's doing in that building. Evil X grabs his can of hot pink and starts painting.

He wakes up feeling odd. The past week spent mostly sitting could be a factor, but it's not like he's been cooped up nonstop the whole time. Maybe it's because the contractions are getting closer together, or whatever Tango said about pre-labor. Yesterday they were thirty minutes apart, maybe he's reacting to that.

Yeah, that must be it. Evil X drags himself out of bed and waddles to the kitchen. Xisuma is already there, because he wakes up earlier than Evil X when Evil X doesn't have a nightmare. Beany is on the counter, staring intently at Xisuma's bowl of rice krispies.

"Morning," Xisuma greets.

"Morning," Evil X mumbles. He retrieves the box of coco shreddies from the pantry and grabs a spoon.

"Are you gonna eat the whole box again?" Xisuma asks.

"Yes," Evil X says. He sits at the table and starts to eat.

A contraction stops him when he's about a third of the way through the box, making him drop his spoon to clutch at his belly. Once it's passed he decides he's done eating.

Xisuma watches him pace circles around the couch from the kitchen. He paces long enough to be stopped by another contraction.

"Maybe you should sit," Xisuma says.

"No," Evil X says. "M too restless."

"Slow down, then," Xisuma says. Evil X huffs, but once he can stand to pace again he walks slower.

Tango arrives at about ten in the morning, two hours later. Evil X has had six more contractions in that time. Xisuma updates Tango on the contractions.

Tango makes Evil X walk slowly by being as slow as he possibly can. He stops to point out flowers and interesting landmarks and Evil X really just wants to keep walking. He has another contraction just as the beach comes into view. Tango has him get in the boat while it's still on land and pulls it into the water once he's in. Then Tango joins him in the boat and rows him across the sea to Toon Towers.

Tango does have him sit, but only because Tango is also sitting right next to him, elbow deep in some redstone contraption that Evil X doesn't understand. He also doesn't get any of the technical jargon that Tango is talking about. Another contraction hits and this one makes him wince.

The contractions continue to get closer and closer as the morning turns to noon. They also grow more painful, enough that Tango pauses whenever he has one to watch him.

"You shouldn't be contracting like that yet," Tango says, leaning back from the redstone, as Evil X bites his lip to avoid crying out during another contraction. "You're, what, thirty-four weeks? They shouldn't be that close together or that painful yet."

"Fuck am I supposed to do about it?" Evil X hisses as the contraction ends.

"You started contractions last week, right?" Tango asks.

"Yeah," Evil X says.

Tango types in his communicator for a bit. Then he turns back to Evil X. "We're gonna take you to Xisuma's and get you set up in a bed. The longer we can delay labor, the better."

Tango helps him down from the tower they're in and leads him out. The walk to the boat is slow and Evil X predicts the walk from the shore to Xisuma's base will be slower. The boat ride is nice, even if he has another contraction during it. Evil X doesn't actually walk from the shore to Xisuma's base, Tango messaged Beef and Beef has a llama waiting for him to ride.

Xisuma has a room half set up for this, apparently, and he rushes to complete it while Tango gets Evil X settled on the bed.

"I'm gonna call everyone and help Xisuma finish setting up. Try to rest, okay?" Tango says. Evil X nods and rolls onto his side. He won't be able to nap, but resting his eyes is better than nothing.

He wakes up to many more voices in the room. He can hear Joe, Stress, Bdubs, and Keralis, as well as Cleo. And then a contraction hits and he's curled around his belly waiting for it to pass. A hand appears in his hair, carding through gently.

"I know it hurts. Try to breathe," Stress says. "We have potions if you need them."

"Please," he gasps. A bottle is held to his lips and he tries to ignore the meaty fizz of instant health. It does lessen the pain a little.

Stress keeps watch next to him for the first hour, helping him breathe through the contractions. Joe comes by, so the room is presumably complete.

"You should try to walk around some," Joe says. "It'll help."

Evil X notices it's only Joe, Xisuma, and Stress in the room. He sits up, and Stress helps him. "Where did everyone go?"

"We're keeping shifts, if your labor is long we don't want to be tired in case something happens," Xisuma says. "Cleo said it's fine if your labor progresses. She'll be in and out every few hours and if something goes wrong we'll get her right away."

"Come on now, walking time," Joe says. He helps pull Evil Xisuma to his feet.

Stress and Joe help him waddle around the room, supporting him when contractions hit so he doesn't fall. He walks around for about twenty minutes and has five contractions in that time. And then he's bored of walking so Stress turns on music on her communicator and starts dancing.

"Come on, dance with me!" she says, doing some footwork that reminds Evil X of the episode of Fresh Prince that Bdubs showed him.

"I can't dance," Evil X says.

"I can't dance either, and look at me!" Joe is doing a series of dance moves that look like they're from a video game and are definitely meant for a different song.

Evil X huffs and starts dancing. He dances until a contraction hits. Stress helps him stay upright. She coaxes him back into dancing once the contraction is through.

Four hours of dancing later, his pants are suddenly dripping. It looks like he's peeing his pants, except he doesn't have to pee because there's a bathroom in the room he's been using.

"That's your water breaking. X, could you bring him another pair of pants?" Stress says. Xisuma nods and leaves to retrieve more pants.

"So I didn't just piss myself out of nowhere," Evil X says.

"Nope! This is good for labor, it means we're getting there," Joe says.

Xisuma returns with pants and helps Evil X change. Stress and Joe leave the room to give him some privacy. He sits in bed once he's in dry pants. Dancing has tired him out and what was restlessness is turning into irritability.

Joe and Stress change shifts with Keralis and Bdubs after the sixth hour. After the twelfth, they swap back. Tango is in and out every two hours, bringing supplies if needed. Cleo only comes in every few hours at first, but by hour eleven she's a constant in the room. Xisuma takes a break during Keralis and Bdubs' shift to get some sleep. Evil X's contractions get closer together and more painful with each passing hour, and his irritability means he's trying not to snap at everything.

Bdubs cuddles with him again during his shift. It's nice. He almost sleeps, except for the contractions and getting up to pee every fifteen or thirty minutes.

Hour thirteen has him kneeling as he leans against some wool. Cleo's certain he'll hit the end of labor soon and everyone has given him pointers on birth positions. He's decided he wants to give birth kneeling, if he can manage it. Joe is rubbing his back and Stress is talking him through breathing exercises for pain again. Xisuma is there, holding his hand and wincing when he squeezes it during a contraction. Cleo is watching him, occasionally checking how dilated he is with a mirror. Bdubs, Tango, and Keralis are on standby, just in case.

He's at barely two minutes between contractions, belly shifting up and down with each one. He's crying, which he might've been embarrassed about but his pants came off a few minutes ago and he's in too much pain to care. He's hungry, hasn't eaten anything substantial in hours but Cleo doesn't want him eating anything much in case he gets sick while pushing.

He labors against the wool for an hour, until Cleo says he can push if he's feeling the urge to. Joe moves from rubbing his back to holding his other hand.

Evil X pushes. He pushes, and pushes, and pushes for an hour. Birthing the first twin burns, and he's screaming because it hurts so bad, but then the baby's out and he's only got one to go. He hears the first twin crying and Bdubs cooing at it. The second twin comes thirty minutes after the first, just as painfully. Then he's done, and he slumps against the wool, exhausted. He's still pushing, until the placentas slide out of him. And then it's over.

"I'm gonna put you back in bed," Xisuma says. Evil X nods, too tired to protest. Xisuma tucks him under the blanket. There's definitely a pad on the bed that wasn't there before, but he's still dripping afterbirth between his legs so he supposes that's why.

"Two girls, the older weighs four pounds eleven ounces and the younger weighs four pounds fourteen ounces," Cleo announces.

Bdubs and Keralis bring the babies over. The first thing Evil X notices is the thin blonde hair on their heads. His own hair is brown, not blonde.

Bdubs leans down. "Here, you can-"

"I don't want to hold them." Evil X looks forward, avoiding the twins. Bdubs blinks and stands back up.

"They're - they're your-"

" _I don't want to hold them_." Evil X crosses his arms. He refuses to glance in the twins' direction. He ends up staring towards Xisuma.

Xisuma glances between him and the twins, and then his eyes widen. Evil X wonders if his brother _just now_ got the full picture.

"They need skin to skin," Cleo says.

"I'll do it," Xisuma says. "I'm his brother, I'm close enough."

Evil X stares at the wall instead of watching Xisuma pull his tee shirt off and take the twins from Bdubs and Keralis. Joe appears at his side.

"Tango, Stress, and I are going to take you back to your bedroom and get you set up for recovery," Joe says. Evil X nods.

Joe and Tango support his weight while he walks. Stress makes sure the path is free of obstacles. Once he's in his own room, the tears start flowing again.

"Hey, it's okay, you did it. It's over," Joe says.

"Th-they're gonna - X is, h-he's gonna w-w-want to keep them," Evil X sobs. "I-I _don't_ , I d-don't want to."

"The twins don't have to stay here. There are lots of places they can be raised safely," Tango says.

"I-I didn't w-want them, I d-d-didn't want t-the _sex_ , I just - I just wanted to c-come _home_ ," Evil X cries.

"It's alright. They'll stay somewhere else and you won't have to see them," Stress says. "Let's get some clothes on you."

"The underwear is padded to catch all the afterbirth and make tonight and tomorrow easier. You might bleed, so you might need more pads," Tango says. Joe keeps him upright and Tango dresses him.

"I want to go _home_ ," Evil X murmurs.

"Tomorrow. You can go home tomorrow. Tonight, you need to sleep," Joe says.

Evil X lets himself be tucked into bed. He cries himself to sleep.

Evil X returns to his base the next day without saying goodbye to Xisuma. He cries in his own bed once there. His base is just how he left it, minus the things he's yet to unpack from the shulkers he borrowed from Xisuma.

Recovery is difficult. Going to the bathroom hurts. Walking hurts. He bleeds more days than he doesn't. After-birth cramps cripple him when they hit. The stretch marks become obvious as his stomach shrinks, dark purple lines that marr his abdomen. He spends a week just trying to feel normal again.

Xisuma visits daily. He makes Evil X change his clothes if they're dirty, and makes him eat, and brings instant health and regen for the pain. Xisuma also brings a book to read or a game to play, to pass the time.

Other hermits visit, too, sometimes while Xisuma is over. Etho brings another cake. Iskall brings some movies. Stress and Mumbo bring tea and scones. Zedaph brings pillows and blankets and Evil X helps him make the best blanket fort Evil X has ever seen.

Evil X still isn't okay. He cries himself to sleep. The bleeding makes him dysphoric. He can't bind. The compression shirts Xisuma brings to help pull his abs back together don't flatten him like his binder would. The hot water bottles Bdubs gives him are a blessing for the cramps. Keralis supplied him with compression socks for when his legs swell. So many people do so many things to help his body heal.

His body still doesn't feel like it's _his_.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading.  
> again, if you recognize my writing style don't talk to me about it. i had to stop obsessing about the nightmare somehow.


End file.
